Wedding customs

According to Shashtras and popular belief, the Brahmins in the Indian sub continent are divided into two major groups: Panch Gaur and Panch Dravida.

Irrespective of the group, wedding ceremonies among Brahmins in the north are celebrated with great pomp and show.

The wedding is an auspicious occasion and the whole process starts as soon as the girl in a family becomes old enough to get married. Traditionally, the father looks for a good match for his daughter, while the groom's family waits for an offer.

Usually, the boy's family chosen is of the same caste as that of the girl's family. Once the horoscopes are matched and the wedding is fixed, preparations for the marriage begin in earnest. Customs and rituals performed are not just limited to the actual D-Day. There are a number of traditions that start from the pre-wedding period and extend till the post-wedding period.

Brahmin Pre-wedding Customs
Siddhant Tradition
In the Siddhant tradition, the panjikar (the priest) sees the panjis of both the families, before the start of the wedding ceremony. As a part of this custom, the panjikar accepts the wedding of the prospective bride and groom, on the tar patra. The day for marriage is fixed according to the Maithil panchang (lunar calendar).

Arrival of the Groom
On the wedding day, the ladies wait at the compound of the house to welcome the bridegroom, as he arrives. A beautifully decorated kalash and an ox yoke are also placed there. As the groom arrives, he is given a warm welcome by the women. Then the bride's friend known as the vidkari, comes forward and welcomes him with sandal paste. This is followed by the groom's ceremonial bath after which he wears his dhoti and the jenui (sacred thread).

Among some groups, the bride then seeks the blessings of the washer man's wife, who is believed to always remain suhagin. It is said that the washer man's wife never becomes a widow, as she always dies before her husband. As a part of this custom, some yoghurt is taken and touched on the hair of the washerwoman.

Kul Devi Shrine
The couple is then led to the Kul Devi shrine. This is the only chance that the bridegroom gets to enter the shrine of the lineage goddess of the bride's father.

Gauri Puja
Gauri puja is performed, in which the bride offers prayers to Goddess Gauri and thanks her for giving her such a wonderful husband. Betel nut placed on the head of a clay elephant represents the goddess.

Otangar Custom
In the Otangar custom, eight Brahmin men crush some rice, which symbolizes that marriage is the combining of "seed" or bloodlines connecting patrilineages in new ways. The bridegroom also participates in this ritual.

Nana Yogin Ceremony
Nana yogin also called grandmother yogi is a custom that is performed by ladies. As a part of this custom, flowers, betel leaves etc are placed on a tray, which are used for the traditional aarti of the bridegroom. While doing aarti, the women chant these words, "Take your yoga and give us wealth."

Wedding Ceremony
For the wedding ceremony, the bridegroom and bride are made to sit together in front of the sacred fire. Thereafter, Lord Agni is called upon after worshipping, to witness the marriage by lighting the sacred flame that is essentially made of sandalwood and ghee.

Kanyadaan Tradition
In the Kanyadaan tradition, the bride's father places his daughter's hand in the hand of the bridegroom and requests him to take her responsibility. The bride's father gives away his daughter with the chanting of Vedic mantras. The priest performs all the wedding rites and rituals.

Saptapadi Custom
As a part of Saptapadi custom, the bride and groom are asked to take seven rounds around the holy fire. These are the first few steps that the couple takes together to mark the beginning of their married life.

Post-Wedding Brahmin Rituals
Sindurdan Custom
The completion of saat pheras is followed by the performance of Sindurdan custom. As a part of this custom, the husband applies sindur or vermilion on his wife's forehead. Sindur remains in the woman's hair parting, till her husband lives. Sindur symbolizes her auspicious wifehood.

Durbakschat Ceremony
Durbakshat ceremony is performed by the Brahmin men, in which they sprinkle husked rice on the newly weds. This gesture represents their wishes for the fertility and prosperity of the newly weds. This ceremony takes place either on the day of the marriage or on the next day.

Chumaon Tradition
In the Chumaon tradition, the women wave a tray containing ethnic objects over the couple. Marriage rituals take place at the bride's house for about four days. After that, the couple leaves for their home.